Book club: Where women fill their cups and spill the tea. Photo: Supplied.
Somewhere in suburban Googong, women are gathered around a dining table.
Members are from all walks of life – teachers, lawyers, public servants and retirees. Sipping from an ornate tea set (which gets dusted off only for these occasions), they swing effortlessly between talking over one another in a cacophony of view-sharing, to settling into rapt attention for one person’s brain-dump.
They’re discussing a book: The Book Club for Troublesome Women.
A heartfelt and poignant story of women finding themselves through literature and unlikely friendships, it illuminates how a group of middle‑aged suburban women of the 1960s – who seemed to ‘have it all’ – could still be left wanting. Whether craving a deeper purpose, fantasising about escape, or simply longing to be seen and valued for their opinions – each of the characters finds some transformative power emanating from their local book club.
What makes book clubs so popular – particularly with women of a certain age? Like a rite of passage, it seems as we approach 40, we’re ushered towards one of two pathways: join a book club, or start running marathons.
If you’re like me – and nothing you’ve done in life so far has prepared you to join the second group – you’ll be wanting more information on the former.
Back in the Googonian kitchen, these modern-day literary ladies discuss the longevity of their own book club and the transformations witnessed throughout its time.
This month marks their 10-year (or 120 books) anniversary, and one member has done the maths.
“As a group, we’ve seen six new babies, two miscarriages, two lockdowns, major health issues, various new jobs and work-related dramas, and one retirement – plus all the usual highs and lows of marriage and motherhood.”
Shannon, a 41-year-old mother of two, says the group provides “much-needed girl-time that is protected by its structure”.
For this group, the first Sunday of the month is a sacred and fiercely protected time.
For example, when Diana’s husband planned to participate in an 82 km group ride from Sydney to Wollongong, she noted this conflicted with Sunday afternoon book club. Diana responded: “Well, you better ride hard!” A telling nod to the non-negotiable nature of book club.
Long-suffering husbands aside, the predictability of this scheduled connection keeps things simple at a time when, for many women, finding time to maintain friendships is really hard.
“When a friend messages saying, ‘we should catch up’, often my mind goes straight to, ‘Great, now I have to think about scheduling a time’ and it adds to my mental load,” says Jessica.
“With book club, it’s a set time, every month, just rock up and have a good time – there’s no pressure.”
In fact, Alicia says, “There’s not even pressure to read the book!”
Which compels the question: what then, is the true purpose of book club?
Clearly, this routine roundtable of female camaraderie meets some more profound need for women.
This month’s book – and prepare to get seriously meta here – follows multiple protagonists, or ‘troublesome women’, as they’re each in some way liberated by their own book of the month, The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan.
Known as a cultural flashpoint which fuelled second-wave feminism, this text challenged the assumption that women should be wholly fulfilled by housework, marriage and children. Instead, it suggested that women were largely unsatisfied with the status quo, but felt unable to voice their feelings.
Well, as the saying goes: The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Careers, family, relationships, life admin, self-care – today’s women are juggling experts, leaving many feeling exhausted, isolated and unsatisfied, a modern mirroring of the same discontent of 60 years ago.
Book clubs provide a safe space for women to escape the pressure cooker of daily life and feed their intellectual and emotional appetites. The structured format allows for their views to be shared, gratefully received, valued and responded to.
Particularly important when women too often don’t feel seen or heard – in the workplace or at home.
The group treats book club as “a kind of entertainer’s playtime”, often serving up book-inspired food, drink and decorations. Photo: Supplied.
Adding to the free-flowing communication and nourishing nature of book clubs is their unique membership composition – often a motley crew of individuals, brought together through the deliberate gathering of strangers, neighbours, school connections, or other newly formed circles, typically outside one’s usual social sphere.
This social distance seems to create a safe container for honesty, without history or friendship dynamics to navigate.
“We confide in each other and divulge things that we wouldn’t even tell our own family. Isn’t that wild?” says Heather.
Back at the dining table, the women fall into a familiar rhythm with one another. The book continues to weave in and out of the conversation – sometimes appearing in bursts of earnest analysis, other times as a wonky springboard launching the group in unpredictable directions.
Both are welcomed by this group, providing friendship, therapy, thought-provoking conversation and precious “me time” for its members.
Listening to the verbal ping-pong match of book club brought warmth to my heart, and the crescendo of their building ideas and diverse perspectives sparked my inspiration.
As my brain feasted on something more nourishing than its usual monotonous mental load, I had to agree with the opinions around me: there is an intangible magic at play at book club as everyone has their cups refilled – literally and figuratively.
