11 September 2025

He faced death and found strength, now Barry De Bois has a message that could change lives

| By Dione David
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Ben Gathercole speaks from a podium

Menslink CEO Ben Gathercole says a 500-strong audience of Canberra’s “people of influence” will be inspired by the keynote address at this year’s Menslink Business Breakfast. Photo: Menslink.

When Barry Du Bois was told in 2010 that he had three months to live, the TV presenter and master builder met the news with surprising fortitude.

He was not in denial, nor was he wearing a mask of bravado. He had the unshakeable tenacity of someone who had already clawed his way out of the darkest of dark places.

“Life doesn’t give us comfort, it hands us tests, and in those tests, we struggle, we doubt, occasionally we fail, but if we lean in, we build the muscle of resilience, allowing us to face what happens in the future,” he says.

“If I hadn’t already learned that the hard way, the daunting nature of learning I had three months left might’ve ended my will to live.”

Part lesson, part poem, this will be at the heart of Barry’s address at Hotel Realm on 23 September at the hugely popular annual Menslink Business Breakfast.

The sold-out event will raise awareness of the organisation’s benchmark education initiative Silence is Deadly, plus its other vital service in the Canberra community and surrounding region.

“I like the description ‘modern day elder’, people who use their stories to empower others. My connection to Menslink has spawned from that,” Barry says. “Their mission – teaching young men to be the best version of themselves, while doing no harm – is powerful.

“I’ll be sharing the lesson I have learned, the one I try to share every day. That we’re all on a river of life and through the river, we face turbulence, eddies and waterfalls, but we’ll also see some beautiful scenery and experience peaceful moments.

“Wherever we are along that river – good or bad – we must acknowledge it. Only then can we move through it.”

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Barry has stared down threats to life and limb more than once.

Even before his first cancer diagnosis, depression came seemingly out of nowhere. It was a shock to someone who had regarded himself as healthy, resilient, positive and generally unshakeable.

“I didn’t think it was possible for someone like me to become depressed, but I did,” he says.

“I learned if we don’t face where we’re at, we can end up in a scary spot; you can’t conquer the things you refuse to see.

“Of course, this is hindsight. By doing it wrong, I learned what to do right. It took years of self-love, self-respect and gaining strength from the community around me. It meant when the cancer came up, I had built up a level of resilience – I was rock solid.”

Barry Du Bois

Barry Du Bois’ inspiring outlook stems from having stared down threats to life and limb more than once. Photo: barrydubois.com.

Having faced depression and defied that first bleak cancer prognosis, Barry has since been diagnosed with multiple myeloma – an incurable blood cancer.

He’s staring it down with the determination that has become his trademark.

“The cancer, I am managing it, and I’m probably in the best shape I’ve ever been and living my best life – there’s no doubt about that. I dictate my own journey,” he says.

“I am still curious to see how I can better myself mentally and physically.”

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Menslink CEO Ben Gathercole says Barry’s story is the ideal vehicle to communicate the importance of Menslink services to a 500-strong audience of Canberra business community and local leaders.

The organisation’s vital services were delivered to about 13,000 boys in 2024, providing vital support at the coal face.

Previous speakers at the Menslink Business Breakfast have included David Pocock, Jimmy Barnes and Julia Gillard.

“We’ve had an array of speakers with different profiles, all with stories that connect audiences to the importance of the work organisations like Menslink do in the community,” Ben says.

“I am very keen to create a network of ‘Menslink champions’ in our community through these events. I would love for this audience – people of influence in Canberra – to leave knowing enough about us that they can recommend us and support us.

“Whether you’re coaching the local under-10s soccer team and you can sense one of the kids is struggling, or you notice a young apprentice at the workplace who isn’t going so well, we hope our champions can steer our young towards vital support that encourages help-seeking behaviour.

“Together we can create vital help-seeking habits in our young men by being champions of Menslink, because we now know silence is indeed deadly.”

To get involved as a mentor, business partner or to donate visit Menslink.

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Menslink is a very honourable and worthwhile organisation which does a good job supporting the under-appreciated and sometimes maligned segment of the community – we blokes. There is something a little puzzling about their website though. Many pages – including the home page – feature both the Aboriginal and the Torres Straits flags, yet no Australian flag. Given the humble male has long been the bad guy (pardon the pun) in the woke culture, which these flags symbolise imho, there’s a strange message being sent.

Good article though and what an inspirational story in Barry – 15 years down the road of a three month diagnosis. Might send a couple of pineapples Menslink’s way in support.

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