I’ve said it since birth and I’ll say it until my last breath – Queanbeyan is the best. If you’ve never lived here, don’t have any relatives here, or have never played sport against us (unlikely), you’ll never understand.
That said, living in the Capital of Canberra does have its challenges. Here are the things you’ll never find us saying over the border in 2620.
1. Chemist Warehouse is so accessible — the aisles are so wide!
Me literally shopping both sides of the aisle at once. Cause I can. Photo: Supplied.
I mean, accidentally touching bums with someone behind you while you’re browsing fungal creams isn’t awkward at all!
But really, how this place passed any OH&S inspections while being built is beyond me. For those who’ve never been there, the aisles are about a metre wide. ONE. METRE.
I’m just thankful I lost 20kg recently and can now actually walk freely to the iron tablets at the opposite end of the store.
2. The police presence on Southbar Road has really calmed down a lot recently!
No. No, it hasn’t.
3. Hope I run into everyone I know at Riverside Plaza. I have loads of time for awkward conversations today!
And why do you always run into them while you have no makeup on and the worst coffee breath of all time? Yesterday alone I ran into my old netball coach, Tawny Owl (my former Brownies leader from the 1980s) and best friend’s ex. It was awesome. I wasn’t in a hurry at all.
4. It’s so fun how Canberrans go for Queensland in the State of Origin!
What’s worse than a Canberran? A Canberran with a Maroons jersey on, pretending the Mal Meninga connection is the reason they go for the Cane Toads.
We’re not silly. We know you do it to infuriate us. It doesn’t work.
5. It’s so lovely and quiet at Cafe 34, I never see anyone I know there!
Cafe 34 is actually amazing. I love it. But so does the rest of Queanbeyan. Which is why it’s always packed and makes it a little loud for meetings.
It’s also another spot you’re likely to run into someone you know (see point 3 above).
6. I wish there were more tobacconists and massage parlours on the main street!
We used to have a main street flourishing with fashion stores, pizza joints, banks and real estate agencies.
Now it’s all vapes, 50-packs of Winfield Blues and lymphatic drainage. But seriously, define ‘massage parlour’. Are you picking up what I’m putting down here?
7. I really enjoy walking through that tunnel next to Homebase, I feel so safe and it smells so nice.
We do not say this. Ever. It is the scariest tunnel this side of Charnwood. Walking its cold, concrete length feels like it takes a lifetime and if someone starts coming the other way, well, it’s hell for someone with panic disorder like me.
I had to use it recently when I had an appointment at Centrelink and couldn’t find a carpark on Crawford Street. Ended up parking behind Homebase. Never again.
8. Jerra Maccas is always a pleasant experience, they always have everything I order ready to go!
Sitting in the waiting bay of Jerra Maccas has taken 17 hours of my life so far.
9. The Kmart car park is absolute luxury — plenty of spaces and so much room!
Also, I never have any trouble at the self-serve checkouts. It’s always straight in and out!
10. I can’t find a good pub feed anywhere in this town!
Bro. We have four pubs to choose from, seven nights a week. And they all do a pretty solid schnitzel and steak, especially the Royal. We’re so spoilt. It’s the best.
11. Jeez, I wish I lived in Canberra!
Hahahahahaha. Saved the best for last. Just kidding Canberra. We love you.
