It’s not always smiles, but it’s always worth it. Photo: Ruth Coleman.
“Yuma families,” the email begins.
“In lieu of Father’s Day, we would love to have a Family Day. We know that family dynamics are diverse and we would love to celebrate all the wonderful people in your children’s lives.”
This was sent to families at a preschool in Queanbeyan, NSW, ahead of today. And other government-funded preschools across the state are following suit, for both Mother’s and Father’s Day.
And it’s a terrible idea.
The email sent to parents of a Queanbeyan preschool about a proposed ‘Family Day’. Photo: Screenshot.
I’m a father. My wife and I have two kids, aged four and two, with a third on the way. And they are often noisy, and gross, and just frankly annoying, but we love them to the moon and back.
I’m not in any way casting aspersions on those who – for reasons outside their control – can’t have them, but having a child is among the most fulfilling things a human can do. It teaches you things about human nature, about yourself. It taps into a part of your heart you didn’t know you had. It matures you.
Then there’s the fact that nothing invests you in the future of a country like having in your care the next generation that is going to form it.
So I’m not whinging about the putting down of Father’s Day for mercenary reasons, like missing out on breakfast in bed.
But because we discredit the role of fathers – or ‘male role models in the household’ – at society’s peril.
In a way, it’s not a surprise that it’s happening. I think three things are going on here.
Yep, it’s Frozen again. Photo: Ruth Coleman.
One stems from a society that, for decades, has cast the ‘patriarchy’ as the source of all ills. This naturally throws the traditional dad out with the bathwater.
Take pop culture, for example, which is always at the pointy edge of cultural change. Chicken Run, Family Guy, Rick and Morty, even the latest Incredibles movie – and I’m sure you can find other examples if you think about the characters hard enough – the husband, or dad, is always a bumbling idiot.
At the same time as this pushdown, we’ve decided we must also lift up others – like the two mums, or the two dads, or the ‘guardians’. Somehow, it’s okay for these to have their own celebratory day – or even month – of the year, but not fathers?
This brings us to the third reason, because we can’t possibly risk causing even the slightest offence.
As the preschool email implies, how will others with more “diverse” family dynamics cope? And by ‘offence’, we of course blow it up to mean hate, discrimination, bigotry. Hit a conversation on the head with one of those bad boys, and it’s case closed before it’s even opened.
Yet, the overwhelming positive impact of having a dad in your life is well-documented.
Various studies from the US, the UK, and Australia over the years have consistently linked paternal absence with higher crime rates. And here in Canberra, why else does an organisation like Menslink exist, other than to provide positive male role models in the lives of young men who lack them?
A society is only as good as its parts, and the nuclear family – made up of a mum, a dad and kids – is an integral, crucial part.
We fathers make mistakes and stumble at times in setting a good example and being there for our kids. But the role is still definitely worth celebrating this Sunday.
So, happy Father’s Day.
