Tender Funerals general manager Catherine Prosser: the Pay It Forward Benevolent Fund has supported 21 families and six funerals were held through the ACT Funeral Assistance Program. Photo: Ian Bushnell.
There is an elephant in the room, literally, at the Tender Funerals premises at Fairbairn.
Adorning a wall is a large painting of a multi-coloured elephant, donated by Tender Funerals Port Kembla where the idea of an at-cost, community-based funeral service developed and is now spreading across Australia.
It’s a rather obvious symbol of an often taboo topic that affects us all.
In addition to offering affordable, bespoke funerals, the Tender mission is to bring the subject of death into the light and embrace an inescapable fact of life.
Not-for-profit Tender Funerals Canberra opened its doors a year ago and is preparing to mark the milestone with an Open Day, including tours, on Saturday, 6 September.
General manager Catherine Prosser said the service’s key approach of listening to what families wanted meant diverse and varied funerals were held throughout the year.
Tender had supported 140 funerals, with more than 70 families preplanning with the service. It conducts about 18 funerals a month, but there is capacity to do more.
About 70 chose cardboard coffins, either plain or decorated; some opted for shrouded cremation and burial, had pets say farewell, used art therapists and more.
Ms Prosser in the mortuary. Referrals are mostly word of mouth.
Tender’s Pay It Forward Benevolent Fund supported 21 families and six funerals were held through the ACT Funeral Assistance Program.
Twenty community groups have invited Tender to talk to them or have visited the site, while almost 50 volunteers contributed their time and skills.
Ms Prosser said 80 per cent of families chose cremations, while there were 17 burials, including two natural burials with shrouds.
Tender was the first to offer a shrouded cremation in Canberra, where the body is wrapped in a shroud in a wicker tray.
“That’s something that neither crematorium in Canberra has done before,” she said.
“They filled the wicker tray with foliage that just looked absolutely beautiful. There was nothing extremely difficult or challenging about that, but it was the first time that any of us involved were doing it.”
Ms Prosser said that for some, shrouding was more natural, provided a greater connection and for burials, was closer to the earth.
“It was lovely to have a family who wanted to do that, because that was a great opportunity for us to learn,” she said.
Tender had worked with Hindu, Buddhist and Christian faiths, people of no faith and held several ‘poppy’ funerals with the RSL for veterans.
Tender Funerals’ range of coffins and cremation baskets.
Tender operates on a cost-recovery basis, with a component of the fees contributing to the Benevolent Fund, which enables those unable to meet the full costs to still care for their loved ones.
Ms Prosser said that some of the families who chose Tender were worried about the cost, but many liked the model and the choices it offered, whether that be the coffin or how to send a loved one off.
Tenders don’t advertise, and people learn about them primarily through word of mouth.
“What we’re finding now is that we are getting a lot of referrals from social workers and healthcare workers, not just for families who might need financial support, but for families who they think need a Tender funeral, or a family who needs to have that time and space to create something special for themselves,” Ms Prosser said.
Bec Curtin is one of two full-time and two part-time funeral directors. A counsellor by training, she saw the original ABC Australian Story episode about Tender in Port Kembla.
“I loved the ethos and thought immediately that’s what I want to do,” she said. “So when I saw that it was opening in Canberra and they were advertising for funeral directors, I jumped in.
“The team is the most fantastic group of people, and the work we do is so meaningful and important, and it’s a real privilege.”
Tender Funerals funeral director Bec Curtin: “It’s a privilege.”
Looking ahead, Ms Prosser said starting a community care program and activities were on the agenda, whether that be a choir, a sewing circle, or a regular opportunity for people to sort out their photo albums. An annual memorial picnic will start in November.
Offering planning for wills and estates, as well as advanced care, is also on the list.
“We take them through that whole process so they can think about everything from end of life through to the care of their body when they die, to their funeral and all the paperwork and logistics, as well as the beautiful family stuff that can come along with it,” she said.
Ms Prosser said Tender did not pretend to be the perfect funeral service, but was a healthy addition to the Canberra ecosystem.
“Canberra’s had successful funerals for decades before we turned up, but I do think we offer something a little bit different, and I always think it’s good for there to be a few more options on the table,” she said.
Tender’s job was to help families help themselves, “not to do anything for them, not to take decisions out of their hands, but to actually empower them so that they are getting a better experience”.
The Snow Foundation supported Tender with a $750,000 grant and $250,000 loan, and Capital Airport Group offered the Fairbairn premises.
To learn more about the Open Day and book a tour, visit the Tender Funerals Canberra website.
