Hang the washing or create a chalk masterpiece? Which is more valuable right now? Photo: Hayley Nicholls.
All I want for Christmas… is help to get things done.
As the year’s end rears its festive head, a battle rages in mine as I fight to justify doing something I loathe to do: Paying someone to do jobs which I know, theoretically, I could do myself.
It started with washing windows.
This was my assigned childhood chore. Every Saturday morning after Agro’s Cartoon Connection, Mum would hand me a stack of newspapers (aging myself a little here) and some Windex (back before anyone kept anything out of reach of children), and off I’d trot to earn my pocket money.
Come afternoon, I’d ride my bike to the shops to buy myself fish and chips (wrapped in more newspaper – honestly, a most versatile commodity of the 90s).
At 10 years old, getting my chores done was easy. I had free time, boundless energy, and could reward myself with highly saturated fats without consequence.
Now in middle age with two young kids, ‘free time’ has become rarer than, well, newspapers.
Saturday mornings are too precious to spend washing windows.
But you know what else is valuable? Money!
It grates me to pay someone to do something I should be able to do myself.
That said, if you haven’t had your windows professionally cleaned, I highly recommend it. Turns out, I was doing a thoroughly average job of it.
You see, one of the advantages of hiring a professional is that they do professional-grade work.
I swear, I thought we had a frosted-glass shower until after our first professional house cleaning. I was like a confused bird flying around the bathroom.
And have you ever had your carpets deep cleaned? Middle-age nirvana.
Of course, having room in your household budget for such things is a privilege. When times are tough, hired help around the house is a pipe dream, not a dirty secret.
In our household, we’ve long since tightened our belts, saying a regretful goodbye to the angel-on-earth otherwise known as our cleaner.
Thanks to flexible work arrangements, I just about stay on top of the housework. Also, just quietly, it’s quite nice not to suffer the fortnightly family panic attack that was ‘cleaning for the cleaner’.
Still, an undeniable backlog of chores remains. Jobs which simply never make the top of our ‘to do’ list, like painting the fence.
I have all the ingredients: a tin of paint, a brush, and a roller. All in the shed gathering dust.
And as I enjoy a slow Sunday morning tea overlooking the garden, I realise – much to my chagrin – technically, I even have the time.
But, as I look upon the naked pine fence and admonish myself for not bouncing out of bed on my day off to throw myself into manual labour, another little voice in my head rushes bravely to my defence.
Rest is important. It deserves a place on the ‘To Do’ list.
Or, even better, perhaps we need a new organisational aid: The ‘Not To Do’ list.
These days, we are busier than ever. It’s not unreasonable to outsource chores, lower our standards or simply let them go altogether.
Isn’t that what Mum was doing all those years ago?
Now, my kids can vaguely wipe a window, but letting them loose with paint? Inadvisable.
For certain jobs – the kindly little defender in my own head assures me – spending money to get things done is not extravagant or wasteful, it’s pragmatic.
However, it does involve an annoyingly nuanced brand of maths. We must weigh each task and ask: Do I spend time or money on this?
Because painting the fence will cost me, one way or another.
It could cost money, or it might cost me the chance to watch my kid’s soccer game, try my first Parkrun, or simply a moment to rest. All of which have value too.
What makes this formula complicated is that we decide the value of each variable.
For me, maths was never my strong suit. Maybe that’s why I battle this narrative so often.
But this Christmas, I’m listening to the voice in my head (on this issue – best keep it on mute beyond that).
Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should – and not doing things is a valid choice too.
Let your garden turn into The Day of the Triffids. Enjoy your morning cuppa, with your back turned to the unpainted fence. Or make peace with paying someone to tick a job off the list.
It’s not laziness, incompetence or defeat – it’s the ‘Not To Do’ List, and it might be the best gift you could give yourself this Christmas.
