At the end, it’s hard to know where to begin. Photo: dolgachov.
“We’ve never done this before” is a common first phrase uttered by William Cole Funerals’ clients.
According to owner and director Bill Cole, that uncertainty is completely normal – and it’s exactly why making those steps as easy as possible is so important.
“A lot of people come to us for the first-time experience,” he says. “It can be an overwhelming feeling and it’s hard to know where to begin.”
Usually, the first step is as simple as a phone call. Family members share a few details about their loved one. From there, Bill and the team either welcome them in for an appointment, or go to them.
“We like the process to be determined by whatever makes the client most comfortable,” he says. “Sometimes that means sitting around the kitchen table with a cup of tea, other times it’s meeting at our office.
“There’s no right or wrong way. What matters is that families feel supported from the very first conversation.”
Early conversations focus on time-sensitive legal or logistical practicalities, or decisions that will shape the service you ultimately choose.
Among the first decisions clients will make is whether the service will involve a burial or cremation, whether there will be a church service, a civil ceremony, or no ceremony at all.
“For the most part, people have a good idea of this,” Bill says. “These are the balls we need to get rolling first – the things that help a person’s funeral take shape and the things that help us keep the wheels turning in the background.”
This includes paperwork: forms for the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, and applications for cremation or burial.
William Cole personnel will manage this hand-in-hand with clients.
“We’ll also ask about newspaper notices,” he says. “From there, you can start getting into the details – venues, celebrants, coffins or caskets, whether or not you want your service livestreamed, which is not uncommon these days.”
Bill Cole says there’s no right or wrong way to honour a loved one. Photo: Michelle Kroll.
While there are a few time-sensitive matters to address early on, Bill says there’s no need to rush these initial preparations and decisions.
“It takes as long as it takes,” he says. “Typically, a person is with us for an hour, hour and a half in this first session, but if it takes longer, so be it.
“It’s a sensitive, emotional time that must be handled at a natural pace.”
That said, some parts have fixed limits. For example, during the service itself, crematoriums offer a strict 45 minutes.
But there are ways to navigate any obstacle to the service you want.
“If we know there will be a lot of speakers or longer eulogies, we might suggest people book the following slot as well, which takes the pressure off,” Bill says.
“Alternatively, you might wish the more in-depth elements to take place afterwards, for example, at a wake.”
The goal, always, is to offer choice and make space for whatever a person might need to achieve their desired outcome.
“We give people options; we don’t make the decisions for them,” Bill says.
“We abide by whatever their wishes may be. I think that’s of critical importance when you’re honouring loved ones.”
And if you don’t know what to do, that’s okay too.
“There’s not necessarily anything I wish clients knew before they pick up the phone to us,” Bill says. “We have a lot of experience in helping people who have no idea where to start.”
For more information, contact William Cole Funerals.
