Where can I burn two boxes of papers?

Holden Caulfield said :

Use them to make pizza bases and do a taste test against Pizza Hut, see if there’s any difference, and then write a review for RA.

would go something like: pizza hut bases tasted bland. otherwise little difference.

..and anyway, wouldn’t the firies, not the constabulary, turn up first?

Use them to make pizza bases and do a taste test against Pizza Hut, see if there’s any difference, and then write a review for RA.

Just use a large old saucepan or something and do it in your backyard on a day where fire danger permits (not on total fire ban or no fires without permit days).

If the cops show up, just tell them you’re destroying documents….. Unless of course you’re avoiding them for a reason???

You weren’t anywhere near the Sydney Building last week, were you?

Dig a small hole in the back yard, add paper, pour on some kind of accelerant (petrol, acetone or metho all work well) and light her up! At this point you have the option of getting naked, putting on a tinfoil hat, rubbing yourself over with peanut butter and dancing around the flames naked. Once the fire dies off, fill the hole back in. Might be an idea to take the tinfoil hat off and put your clothes back on once you have finished.

Or you could stop being a tight-ass and invest in a cheap shredder from Kmart, Orroficeworks or similar.

My cousin Vinny can do it for a small fee. No questions asked 😉

the waste paper basket always works on the teev.

redesign your house to include a fireplace.

ask a recently deceased acquaintance if they’d take your papers with them to the crematorium.

i’m running out of other ideas about now…

The gates of the US embassy would probably be the safest place.

Just make sure you cover your face and yell ‘Allahu Akbar’ while doing it (it’s American for ‘I am legitimately destroying some documents, nothing to see here’).

In your barbeque?

You call yourself the mentalist? lol

If you feel all Macgyver, you can soak them in water, pulp them up and compress them into logs, which you can then burn like a briquette. It’s the bastard love-child of identity protection and thriftiness.

Have you heard of a shredder? It’s this cool machine that chews up paper and spits it out in a ripped up form that makes it unreadable.

You can even drop off bulk amounts these days to places like officeworks.

http://www.officeworks.com.au/retail/landing/Shredding-services

Sounds legit…..