2 October 2025

'You chose to assault me': survivor blasts Tinder rapist in court

| By Albert McKnight

Paul James Donnelly (right) leaves the ACT Courts with his solicitor, Mitchell Greig of Hugo Law Group. Photo: Albert McKnight.

CONTENT WARNING: This article refers to sexual assault.

A woman sexually assaulted by a man she met through a dating app faced him in court and asked, “How hard is it to ask the simple words, ‘Can I?'”.

Paul James Donnelly matched with the woman on the Tinder dating app, then went on to rape and film intimate footage of her without her consent in 2023.

She appeared in court in person to speak about the impact of the offences during his sentencing hearing on Wednesday (1 October), during which she said she had gone on the app hoping to find “the one”.

“Every single day I am reminded of what happened with vivid flashbacks,” she said.

“I can hear the defendant’s voice … and I can remember every detail of what he did to me.

“I don’t know if I will ever trust men again.”

She said she had been grief-stricken at the time due to the recent death of a friend, and Donnelly told her he was sorry for her loss and understood what she was going through.

The woman read out a poem she had written to him, in which she told him that fear, pain, disgust, shame and horror were some of the words that came to her when thinking about how “you chose to assault me”.

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“The question that haunts me every day is ‘why’,” she said.

“You took advantage of a woman who was vulnerable with grief.

“How hard is it to ask the simple words, ‘Can I?'”

She also spoke about the moment she realised he had been filming her.

“What did you gain from doing this to me? Was it for a moment of pleasure?” she said.

The woman thanked all her supporters, some of whom were present in the courtroom.

“I could not have gone through this without you,” she said.

Donnelly pleaded guilty to one count of sexual intercourse without consent and two counts of distributing intimate images.

Barrister Beth Morrisroe said at the time of her client’s offences, one of his family members had recently died, he was using cannabis, was seeking comfort on the dating app and could be described as someone who was lost.

She said the woman texted him after an incident, and he immediately apologised.

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He was arrested several months later and then spent a few days in custody before he was granted bail, and his experience in jail had lasting impacts on him, the barrister said.

Ms Morrisroe said since then, her client had been diagnosed with autism, had married, had a child, and had stopped his drug use.

She asked for the 38-year-old to be handed a community-based sentence.

“There’s nothing achieved by placing this man into custody,” she said.

Prosecutor Emma Bayliss said the offences had a profound impact on the woman and argued that a jail sentence was appropriate.

Justice David Mossop will hand down his sentence for Donnelly, who remains on bail, on 8 October.

If this story has raised any concerns for you, 1800RESPECT, the national 24-hour sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line, can be contacted on 1800 737 732. Help and support are also available through the Canberra Rape Crisis Centre on 02 6247 2525, the Domestic Violence Crisis Service ACT 02 6280 0900, the Sexual Violence Legal Services on 6257 4377 and Lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, call Triple Zero.

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