Vikings Ram Raided

Parramatta Stadium. A great seething concrete box containing about 2000 deeply chilled people. The smart ones did not drink beer, because that would have meant a visit to the toilets of death.

Other than the main game (which cost less than the Vikings, hmmmm), we got (a) a mascot called Rambo, a bogan in sheep’s clothing, (b) five (count ’em) modestly clad cheerleaders, listlessly mowing wads of a wool-like substance between their waists and their chins, (c) a curtain raisers between Oz and Samoan schoolboys, where some willingness was shown and (d) the Kings school band, a multicultural vision in slouch hats, ornate grey blazers and what looked like blue trakky-daks with white spats. Choice. We also got a ground announcer who was taking some time to catch up with rugby scoring (go figure) and whose talent for murdering pronunciation was special – the Vikings coach was Nick Scrive-na and what he did to Lealiifano could best be put into the Polish random syllables album.

The game. Franky Fainifo started after winning his appeal against suspension, only to limp off after a few minutes. The replacement (Tim Cornforth) played well and with some guts. Julian Salvi got his now-traditional 10 minutes in the naughty seat. There was some skill shown and for about 10-15 minutes (when they got to 18-17 down), they looked pretty good. Most of the time, they were ordinary – not terrible, but uninspired. Patrick Phibbs lifted things a little, and Huia Edmonds showed flashes of what he can do. Some tried all night (Adam Wallace-Harrison, Peter Kimlin) but couldn’t get there.

The Rams, by comparison, were white-hot. They were the ones throwing speccy passes out the back in the knowledge that someone would be there. They were the ones arriving in numbers at the site of any weakness. They were superb, with flashes of early Brumbies style. Lachlan Turner ran gret angles. Boy wonder Kurtley Beale was variable (some disgusting wide passes) but mostly very good. Josh Holmes is a fine half, Tom Egan plays with genuine mongrel and menace. Overall, they were simply so much better, with so many of them contributing to a sparkling effort.

It’s always good to blame the ref, and there were times when the Vikings would not have got a penalty if the Rams had used biochemical weapons on them. But the ref was not the main reason this time.

aw, I thought that was going to be interesting from the title.