The 48th Federal Parliament is now in session. Photo: James Coleman
It’s been more than a hundred days since the Federal Parliament last sat and its re-opening on Tuesday (22 July) was very much like the first day of school.
The first day back for some; the actual very first day ever for others.
There were wide-eyed newbies bumping into glass doors and tripping over chairs, all the while oozing both awe and fear towards their returning battle-worn seniors.
Most of those were on the government’s side because Labor boasts the lion’s share of both returners and fresh-faced newcomers.
Head prefect Albo was seen all day slapping backs and putting an encouraging arm around the chosen few (or not so few as it turns out) – you’ll be right, mate, just stick with me.
Big Milton Dick (the Speaker) was warning there’d be no shenanigans under his watch. Those head-flushing down the toilet days are long gone.
Sussan (with an extra ‘s’) immediately started up her own cool kids club, promising to be both kind and mean in equal measure (she loves public servants, you know).
All the while, Barnstorm Barnaby was testing the climate for a very specific new club of his own – so far, he’s got net zero takers.
Katter the Hatter made it clear his allegiance was to no one at all except the great people of ‘Straya, while ol’ mate Tony Burke spent the day lugging around a Bible the size of a calf.
Yesterday’s heroes Husic and Dreyfus turned up with dignity – team spirit and all – while Deputy Marles was busy plotting ways to help money-man Chalmers lose some of his charm (Katy from accounting will put a stop to that nonsense).
When classes began, Pauline tried to install bovver boy David Pocock as the boss of the red seats, but King David respectfully declined – for now, at least.
No lessons on the first day, however, just a lot of huddling and chatting and getting acquainted with their new comfy seats and cramped work stations, and trying to figure out exactly where all those long corridors lead (and where they can nip out for a quick durry without getting caught).
There were some wonderfully rousing speeches from the competing prefects and a warm and classy welcoming example of inclusion from Aunty Violet Sheridan to kick the day off.
It was later in the afternoon, however, when the G-G turned up for assembly as the school bell rang.
Old and new stood in reverence as the Principal entered the red room, feeling the majesty of her very presence. She called for everyone to gather ’round.
This Guv’nor is about as cool as a Guv’nor can get.
None of the airs and graces we have come to expect from those who went before.
Just a calm, confident and authoritative dignity that encourages all the kids to aspire to be ‘just like her’.
She was indeed too cool to acknowledge a protest sign held up by Green Mehreen Faruqi for the entirety of her address.
Everyone else listened respectfully to every word, which was a hard task as the Guv’nor’s speech is actually written by the head prefect outlining everything he wants to achieve as class captain.
Talk about boring … except for the bit about girls being for the first time in the majority around the school’s highest decision-making table.
This seems like a pretty happening school and everyone looked genuinely excited about the holidays being over.
Any questions? Not on the first day back please. Question Time starts on the second … that’s today.
